Christmas chaos is great. It’s a bright sparkly excuse for being utterly haggard and manic

I’m delirious. But if I shut my eyes, I’m concerned my adrenalised state will leak out of me, like air escaping an untied balloon

The first time I noticed that my mother bore most of the Christmas workload, she was rushing around our kitchen, shovelling stuffing into the pre-cooked turkey. “I’m like a shark,” she explained, washing her hands so she could start on the gift wrapping at 10 minutes to midnight on Christmas Eve. “If I stop to rest, I’ll die.”

At the time I thought it was just another funny thing my mum said, like “Never sit on a public toilet seat!” You know, normal mum stuff.

But now that I have kids of my own, I understand. Christmas is a largely joyless season for parents. In fact, between all the impossible gifting, rushing, stress-eating and drinking just to get through the night, Santa himself behaves a lot like a stereotypical mum.

Here’s another truth and if you ever bring it up with me, I’ll deny it: I happen to love this chaotic time of pre-Christmas havoc.

Do not mistake my enthusiasm. I’m not some sort of rabid Mumfluencer; there will be no homemade gingerbread decorations for the tree, no matching striped PJs for the entire family to pose in, like prisoners in Christmas jail.

I love this time for one reason: it’s a focus for all my adrenaline – a bright, sparkly excuse for why I am utterly haggard and manic.

See, the most recent Hilda survey (you know, the one undertaken before the pandemic) found that women do more housework than their male partners. It also found that almost one in four women were tired, nervous, restless or depressed “for no good reason”.

Huh. No good reason. Really? Just life is it, babes? Ordinary life.

But the speed and shock of the end of year festivities, the school stuff, the work stuff, the food stuff, the shopping, the tidying, the Covid testing, the booking of vaccines, the booking of holidays, the postponing of holidays – all of it comes, careening around the corner, providing a water-tight alibi for the emotions I am normally prohibited from expressing.

It is something that seems to be experienced by everyone I know. Fellow mothers at the school gate call to me, while we pass each other, rushing to the next thing, “How are you, Nat?”

“I’m over it!” I bellow back.

I am always over it. It’s not the children, it’s the work around the children that’s required. And the work I must undertake on myself, just to look presentable. I no longer get to call it work; it’s now known as “self-care”. The haircare and the skincare and the edible collagen – and my God, the eyebrows. What is even going on with eyebrows now? I can’t keep up.

But I’ve got to keep those shark eyes open. And maybe I secretly enjoy typing this fast on my phone, where every second word is “ducking”. Maybe I feel energised by “researching” the best mince pies in my LGA. Maybe I get a kick out of the Australia Post notifications informing me that the needless purchase of Christmas wine is currently “in transit”. Maybe I have a Basic Suburban Mum compulsion to buy Christmas “outfits” for my small children and myself. Then a “back up” outfit in case the weather changes. Maybe new swimmers for my daughter. Maybe my husband needs another tie, though he now works from home.

Maybe an extra pack of shortbread as a gift for the mum who organised the teacher’s gift this year. I don’t know! I’m not really thinking! Do I want the utterly inessential earrings I’m buying for myself gift wrapped? Yes, I most certainly do.

I’m delirious. But if I shut my eyes, I’m concerned my adrenalised state will leak out of me, like air escaping an untied balloon, sending it zooming all over the place, until it plops, shrunken and deflated, behind the couch. Which, by the time Christmas arrives, I’m thinking … might be the best seat in the house.

Natalie Reilly is a writer and editor who lives in Sydney

ncG1vNJzZmivp6x7tbTEoKyaqpSerq96wqikaJuforqmutOiqp%2BqlZp8c3yRamadnZNkf3J7wqGpoqukoq60ecKhmKirXZ7AbrPRnpitZZmpwG6tjJupop%2BYqXq0vMCroqWxXZrFpMHSnmSfp6Jir6a1zaBkrqykmr%2BtxYyhmKCfkaexbq3NnWSmmZ6esA%3D%3D