When you get married, there are so many details to figure out. The wedding, whether you're changing your last name, how to decorate your new abode.
Amid these decisions, Theresa Viera, a family law attorney based in North Carolina, would like you to spare a moment to consider a prenuptial agreement. It's a legal contract between soon-to-be spouses that lays out how they'll deal with money during a marriage and, if it happens, after a divorce.
Here's what to know about prenups — and how to decide whether to get one.
Prenups aren't just for the rich and famous
Prenups aren't just for celebrities and wealthy people with loads of property and investment accounts, says Viera. They're for everyone. They can address whether you and your spouse will have a joint bank account, whether you'll pay off your student loans separately or together, and who gets what if you divorce.
They're becoming more common
More and more people are getting prenups. In 2022, the market research firm Harris Poll surveyed over 1,000 people and found that 15% of married or engaged respondents had signed a premarital or prenuptial agreement. That's up from 3% in 2010.
Think of prenups like insurance
While few people want to bring up divorce on the verge of getting married, Viera wants people to think of a prenup kind of the way they think of car insurance — as a financial safety net. "We're not preconceiving that a divorce is going to occur. We're discussing important financial issues that come up in every marriage," she says.
Start talking about a prenup at least 6 months before the wedding
"I say that because you don't want the duress of a wedding to influence your decision to enter into a prenup," says Viera. "It should be one of the first discussions after the engagement ring is exchanged."
Start by talking about your big financial goals for the future. Do you want a shared bank account? Do you want to own a business someday? At what age do you want to retire? Asking yourself these questions can help you determine what to include in your prenup — and whether it's right for you.
Prenups can protect parents who aren't earning income
When it comes to kids, prenups can't include details about child support. But they can protect a stay-at-home parent from suffering financially in the event of divorce. It can ensure, for example, that the stay-at-home parent isn't liable for credit card debt incurred during the marriage. And it can ensure that spouses fairly split money saved in joint bank accounts and retirement accounts, even though the stay-at-home parent did not contribute to it financially.
Know what happens if you don't get a prenup
"If you get married and you don't have an agreement stating how your finances, your property and your debts are organized during the marriage, then the state laws would apply," says Viera. Every state law is a little different — but prenups basically allow couples to decide how to manage their financial affairs during and after a marriage.
Each spouse should have a lawyer when negotiating a prenup
"When you approach negotiating a prenuptial agreement, you are negotiating a legally binding contract," says Viera. "And so you want to know what your legal rights are first and have a clear understanding of that" — especially because your legal rights change when you marry, including your tax and estate rights.
Yes, prenups cost money
The cost depends on how much attorneys in your area charge on an hourly basis, says Viera. Where she lives in North Carolina, rates are "anywhere from $175 to $500 an hour."
Attorneys may also quote a flat fee, she adds, which "could be a thousand dollars, could be more than that, depending on their hourly rate and how many hours they think [a case] will take."
Prenups are about taking care of each other
Coincidentally, Viera is getting married. Her fiancé has notable retirement accounts and property — and she has three businesses. She says that considering a prenup is like saying to her fiancé: "I love you today. I don't know who I'm going to be 10 years from now. And I want you to know that no matter what, I'm going to take care of you, even if our relationship ends in divorce."
Don't be afraid to talk about money with your future spouse
Even if you decide that a prenuptial agreement isn't for you, Viera tells soon-t0-be spouses to have a tough conversation about their finances anyway. Otherwise, she adds, couples miss out on creating a strong foundation for their marriage. "I've had clients say, 'Hey Theresa, I had the discussion. We're OK with how the state laws apply to our situation should we get divorced. We don't need a prenup.' And my response is, 'Good. I'm glad you had the discussion.' "
The audio portion of this episode was produced by Clare Marie Schneider and edited by Sylvie Douglis. The digital story was edited by Malaka Gharib.
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